Once upon a time I had this argument with someone. This someone was a friend, a mentor and someone I really looked up to. At the time, it felt like the worst thing in the world to ever happen to me.
Wanna know why it felt like that?
Because this someone didn’t bother with my anger. In fact, I actually remember trying to message, voice note and talk to this person to fix everything. To make everything better. To make myself feel better.
And they just didn’t.
Instead they explained this conversation would happen when I had calmed down and was acting rationally. They were patient and graceful and kind. If you’ve ever experienced this, you’ll know this only added to my frustration. I wanted them to react and I wanted them to try and fix everything..right..now.
Fast forward to this week, where nearly four years on, I was confronted with my own frustrated, irrational someone. They wanted me to react and to make them feel better.
And I just didn’t.
Because I had this epiphanic moment where I understood why that argument, so many years before, had happened.
So what did I do? I offered kindness. I forgave them before they could admit they needed forgiveness.
If anything I’ve learned that anger is only a reaction to an insecurity manifesting. An almost tangible response to the unexplained. And yes, sometimes you will need to walk away. But for the times you feel strong enough, show them ‘kind’.
A fellow student once told me that love is just your ability to understand and respond to the needs of another. Responding to someone’s needs doesn’t mean you have to be right. It doesn’t mean you have to respond to their messages right now. It doesn’t mean you have to fix everything.
Who needs your kindness today?
“If you have a choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”
-Dr. Wayne W. Dyer